OH S*^#@

Maybe this wasn't such a great plan afterall. Looks like a good time to abandon Ship!

It's over with now

Easy does it!

Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

For the last three months when I wasn’t off riding my old Yamaha, I’ve been helping my old buddy Cornbread with the construction of a fine new magnum duck blind. We’ve been wanting one that floats and have been on the lookout for a pontoon boat shell for years. Well we finally located some pontoons and set about to build a blind big enough to be comfortable in, while being sea-worthy enough to hold up to the rough winter waters of the Tennessee River. The floats are 22 feet long and the frame is made of 2x6s with aluminum sheeting for walls. I finished putting the roof on the attached boat “garage” Sunday evening, just as the sun went down. We had it sitting on a flatbed trailer, ready to launch next weekend when Monday’s storm blew through town.

As you can see, the weight of the thing shifted a little. Fact is, it apparently went completely airborne, inverted in flight, before landing square on its roof. Unbelievable. This monster weighs more that a 1953 model four-door Buick and with (I thought) absolutely no aerodynamic qualities. What’s really amazing is the fact that I can’t find a dent in it anywhere! It’s just, er…. a little faulty in its orientation.

Fortunately, there was nothing else damaged on the place. Actually, I saw nothing wrecked (to amount to anything) in the whole area. The boy asked me how the wind could have done that without tearing through everything else around there. I told him it must have been like those missiles shot down through the mouth of chimneys by FA-18s in Iraq, a real surgical strike. Man, I got to start living right.

What Mambership Card Is In Your Wallet?

I’m once again I'm reminded of what the ITSA organization has done to enhance my motorcycle trials riding experience. Like a lot of riders in my area, I’m also a member of the STRA. I’ve got a little history with that organization, having been a part of it back in the late 70s and early 80s and then joining back with new interest about 5 years ago. I was also active in the AHRMA competitions until it became apparent that they didn’t really want me (a lowly trials rider) as anything more than a dues payer. Ever since my less-than-spectacular return to the STRA, I’ve been subjected to a decidedly cold-shoulder from a large part of the rank and file STRA membership. Now, I haven’t lost any sleep over it. I understand that it’s a simple case of a central core of elitist pricks being followed by a herd that's not capable of individual thought. They make a big deal about “welcoming” and “encouraging” new membership, but that’s just a farce. The only reason most of them pretend to want new members is to either fuel the enterprise, or to provide an additional fan-base for their imagined celebrity.

There is also a distinct bias in the STRA, or Modern over Vintage competition. Now (on the STRA bulletin board), there’s a long-time member who has had the “audacity” to call them on it. The initial response was a chorus of righteous indignation from the masses. They jumped on him like a pack of dingos on a crippled kangaroo. Then when their frontal assault failed to deter the criticism, they took the tone injured martyrs. Hypocritical bullshit.

I’ve got a modern bike and I like to ride it. I haven’t competed on it all year, but it’s not because I’m never welcomed when I do. I’ve just been busy. I’m still an STRA member and I will make more modern STRA events. I just wish I was good enough to beat’em. Thanks Lee, for speaking up and a big thanks to Bob and my fellow ITSA members keeping trials fun.

A Show Stopper

As I write this, Loretta Lynn is hosting the annual National Amateur Motocross held there. Its close by (about 10 miles), but the crowd is so huge these days, it’s a just a little more than worth the effort for me to take time for it. The boy had a rare day off yesterday and eased over to check out all the Dust Busting going on. He came home and reported that it was madness out there, but the show stopper wasn’t found on the jumps. It was trails champion Geoff Aaron who had everybody’s jaw dropping. He had his demo laid out and evidently proceeded to make the most of it. Sorry I missed it and it was only a one day stop. Pretty cool though and I even had a call from a guy who had never really seen any trials, but had watched the show and knew I was involved in the sport. I probably should have explained the (huge) difference between what he saw at the ranch and what I’m able to do, but I didn’t have the heart. Heck, everybody needs a hero.

Cool Site of the Day

My significant other sent me this LINK to a video of this artist working. He's fast and clearly ambu….uh, ambieee…..ammmm, ah heck, he can use both hands at once (I can never say ambidextrous). Anyway, check it out.

Honeys Out of My League

I slipped out of my comfort zone last fall and found myself parting the foliage in the interior of the island of St Lucia in the Caribbean. Man, you talk about finding paradise. I’m not talking about the landscape either. Check out this young sweetie that I found and ran my game on, is she fine or what? I guess she didn’t have anything better to do, but I like to think it was my rugged good looks and abundant charm that won her over. The old man’s still got it (when the competition’s low).

Ah, I’ll fess up. I actually knew the young lady before we posed for this photo. The fact is, today we’ve been married for 31 years. Every single day of which has been paradise.

Pont of interest: the waterfall in the background of this picture is the one they filmed Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner sliding down in the “Romancing the Stone” movie. Don’t my Tammy look like a movie star too?

Now where did that come from?

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but onc e water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I. I had always thought it was a golf term.

Go DevilRains...or DevilRods.. or Raps...DevilForks? Whatever!

Well, I'm off in LALA land. St Petersburg FL to be exact. Down here for a few days to visit my little girl and to watch her walk the grad line at the college she's spent the last 4 years at. I wanted to pull all the stops and show her a good time, so I pulled some strings and got tickets for all of us to see the DevilRays take on the Mariners. Honestly, the Rays are sturggling and some guy offered me 5 bucks to fill some seats, but the family doesn't have to kow that, right? As it turned out, I had the best seat in the house and the picture above is proof of that. More on the trip later, stay tuned.

Will Ferrell and the Landlord

Will Ferrell fan or not, this is way too funny. Check this short video:

The Landlord.

Picking and moaning

I've had an old Montaya guitar, a knockoff of the very excellant Martin D28. It always seemed to have a good sound and I'd been trying to play it since buying it in 1983. First year, I took lessons once a week and learned to read music a little and could pick out some short random tunes. It was not what I signed up for and bored to tears, dropped the lessons and shortly after, hid the guitar in the closet. It was guys sitting around playing and singing that had me going then and it took a while to find some, but it's guys picking around a fire that's got me hooked again. Good players, who know how bad I suck, but encourage me anyway. I've bought a few peices to play with, but the honest truth is that none fit nearly as well as the old Montaya does. I have no high priced intruments. The triple stand is holding on the right, the old Montaya, on the left is a Ovation BlackViper - hollow body electric, and in back is my beat up Taylor Big Baby. The one encased on the floor is a Martin D15 Custom I just picked up. It's nearly new, too new in fact. I'm going to have to get Peewee up here to stretch the strings a little, while maybe Malcolm strokes my Taylor. Charlie and Cpt Dick can beat on the ovation, while we all drink spring water. That'd be alright. How about it, who's in?

Labrador Couch (in classic black)

This is Annabelle telling Abby a secret. Probably something derogatory about the cat, who has been known to join the ladies in sitting out in the sun on old Jake’s back. Jake is truly the most good-natured creature walking this earth and will lay unmoving for as long as the others want to warm their asses. He’s getting old and I’m getting heavier everyday, so I mostly just sit in chair when I join them on the porch. Now, there’s a good boy.

He Got That Deer-In-The-Headlight Look

A couple of years ago (when he reached the magic age of self-reliant mobility), I passed down my trusty old GMC pickup to the boy. He was 16 and the truck was just 10, so we all agreed it was a pretty good fit. He was really proud of it too; spending his own money to buy shiny new wheels, custom lights, fancy stereo equipment and what-not. This morning as he was coming home from a parts-store run for me, he had an unfortunate run-in with Kamikaze Deer that was obviously all cranked up on green road-side grass. The encounter was tough on all concerned

Amazing Ukulele Performance

For any of you who are music lovers, I'll offer this link to an impressive performance on a ukulele (of all things). This guy didn't learn to play watching Don Ho. Check it out:

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=b165b79e80767f89ad515fcb3a992c3d.1701490&fr=yvmtf

Hunting, Not Finding

I do a little duck hunting every year, but my enthusiasm for the sport is waning. Nowadays I mostly leave it to the youngsters who really don’t need me to lead them a field anymore. A while back, a friend of mine asked me to pony-up for a guided hunt at nearby Fullers Hill. Usually a very successful operation, but things are a little slow everywhere this year. The night before we’re to hunt, he sees the boy and tells him there’s a cancellation, so why not join us. GREAT, I pay twice! Well, we go and make a day of it, standing with only our heads sticking out of the ground in a pit up on a hill over-looking the wildlife refuge from dark to dark. Turns out the wind is wrong, and the water is right elsewhere and we end up barely firing a shot. Still, we see a lot of wildlife, including a Bald Eagle that flew around us most of the day. I guess in some places he’d need to worry about getting shot, but most of us knew that Eagle tastes too much like Owl to be good to eat. So we talked a lot, ate some fine gumbo and had a good day after all. It had been a long time since I’ve had the boy to myself for that many hours in a row. That made it worth the money, for me.

Home For the Holidays

My little girl came home from school during the Christmas and New Years Holidays. It was great having her here for a while. A few days after Christmas, her fella paid us a visit. He stayed for a week and I got to say, it was a little weird. I gave him every chance to do something to piss me off, but you know what? He never did. I'll have to admit, he's a pretty good lad. Course not good enough for my little girl, but.........well, not too bad. City boy, for sure! They wanted to get out for some air, so I fires up the old river-runner and away we went. I says, "you wanta drive this thing" The shot above is him (and her) just before he asks about the brake location. I tell him it all Flintstone style in this rig. Nobody gets my jokes..........

IT LIVES!!!

Finally got the wife's Passport all pimped out and running right. Time for the big moment, so I gathered all the kids, ran off the dogs, and with fire hose in hand it was "Ladies, Start Your Engines". Five minutes later, she screams "Helmets is for sissys" and commences to speedshifting her way around the yard. It'll be hard keeping her down on the farm now...........

"Be My Motorcycle Momma and We'll See the World On My Honda"

Tammy (my wife of 30 years) has spent a considerable amount of time riding on the back of my old Harleys and even more time watching me as I rode away alone. She's never had any desire to pilot her on ride. Her one try took place some 25 years ago when I talked her into climbing onboard my trusty old TL125 for a quick spin around the field in front of our house. She started out riding directly toward the one corner where something other than wide-open space prevailed and ran smack into a stack of concrete blocks. The resulting pile-up was enough to convince her that riding on her own was not in the cards. She has maintained this stance through the course of years and my infrequent attempts to change her mind have proven unsuccessful. In the last couple of years, she's made the trip with the boy and me as we traveled to trials events here and there and seems to enjoy it. She's taken to teasing him that now that he's gone off to school, she was going to fill the gap by learning to ride his Sherco. Well, I'm thinking that if this were ever to happen, the result would likely be hard on her, the motorcycle, and any innocent, by-standing concrete blocks that happen to be in the vicinity. Nope, she needs to start smaller and with that in mind, I took a chance on this 1981 Honda Passport. No clutch, electric start, and a top speed of 45mph. Today is her birthday and after the cake was cut, I led her to the garage where her new steed awaited. She loves it and swears she'll ride it, just as soon as it warms up some. I sure hope that doesn't translate into "when hell freezes over". Ain't they a peach!

Year End, Year Out

Had a great weekend, riding in the last ITSA event of the year and the first one for next year. I had some trouble with my ride and ended up riding most of the time on the Yamaha. I didn't do very well, but had fun anyway. More on the weekend latter, but I did want to offer big congrats to Peewee for his come from behind win in the year-end championship and his move up into the next class. He made the move Sunday and from what I saw, did pretty good for himself. Here he is making a tough section look easy. Good job.

The Ballad of Ernest T

Man, I had a great time this last Saturday. It was the next round of the ITSA trials series, held at LEOR in Marion IL. It was also the last round of the Midwest AHRMA series, which just means that there were that many more fine riders and friendly faces around. I was proud of the crew for their collective performance. The Guru, Peewee, Cpt Dick, Bruce, Mike, Nub, and Malcolm all placing in the money (so to speak). Tony and the gang from Midwest treated everyone to a banquet after the event, with some cool awards, door prizes, and great food. Between riding and eating, I wandered over to where the Captain, Malcolm and some others were holding court around a fire built in a big truck wheel. It wasn't long before Malcolm brought out his Big Baby Taylor guitar and proceeded to entertain us for an hour or so. It was great. I'd managed to miss all other previous occasions when Peewee, Malcolm and others joined voices to serenade the stars and each other, so I found it a real treat. The bearded wonder has some Mad Skills as a picker and singer, and also as a songwriter. If you ever get a chance to hear is original "Ballad of Ernest T", you'll be so excided you'll likely throw a brick through a winder! Too Cool.